Hope

I wanted to get an early start on this post. The wonderful Franchesca from Small Bird Studios has come up with a great idea for the 19th of every month. The point of this is HOPE!!! To encourage one and other in some way. It gives us all a chance to share our stories of encouragement. She is calling it Small Miracles. I think the title speaks for itself. Once we loose someone we put our faith in hopes of finding peace or something that will bring us comfort. I know so many of these woman (especially Fran) have brought my heart hope for a better tomorrow.

Hope means to wish for something with expectation of it's fulfillment. I really do hope her dream is fulfilled and we continue this and grow from the grief that lies within our hearts. I know I have grown in the past 16 months so much. I thought it wasn't possible to feel this way. Today I can smile without feeling guilty. I know no matter how much times passes that Sami will always be near me. I gave up on looking for signs from her but when I really need it she sends them my way. It could be from a comment from Julian or a butterfly crossing my path. I know in my heart she is there. Sometimes a simple breeze can make me feel like she is near. It is moments like that that give me hope. It is all I have to get me through sometimes. Looking back to where I was to now gives me confidence that my life is continuing in a positive way. I am living my life and embracing it no matter what challenges have be brought to me.

Holding Sami and telling her that I love her

 This day I felt like I couldn't breathe. A piece of me was taken with her as she took her last breath. I was so happy to be holding her but so heart broken knowing that would be the last time.

27 weeks with Emma

Here I am now with my husband with a broken heart but with hope for a better tomorrow. Embracing the gift that God has blessed us with once again.











For some of you who are early on your journey of grief and you feel like you can't catch your breath trust in yourself and know that you will be able to some day. You will find yourself wondering how you made it this far without falling apart literally.  I hope many of you join in on this, it doesn't have to be this month or the next just whenever you feel ready.