Hello blog world

Is August almost over? Hard to believe how fast time passes. Having to care for two little one's I suppose will help speed up time.
Julian is funny as ever and so sweet and well Emma is a little chunker full of toothless smiles. Being at home with them this whole time has been a real blessing. I am sad I missed so much with Julian but he was always in good hands.
Sami's birthday is almost here and I finally got the OK from the hospital to drop of care packages for other loss mom's. I am really excited about this and now trying to figure out a budget and how I am going to get this really going because I don't want it to be just be once a year thing but one step at a time. I am also trying to figure out how and what other celebration I am going to do for her. For sure a remembrance mass so I can share with family and friend's but not sure what else. I love celebrating birthday's and just because she isn't here doesn't mean I can't celebrate right? People might see it as weird but I really don't care what they think. I can't believe two years are approaching and I am still living. I was talking my hubs a few nights back and we both agree that the first few months felt like there was no way out. Now we still hurt but we handle it differently. Emma for sure has helped us grow, again I will emphasize that she is in no way a replacement but my heart once again has joy in it. I am sure many of you loss mom's can relate to those early days where it felt like there was no sun in sight and as time passes and rainbow's born you find yourself alive again. It is a great feeling!!!
I love being comfortable in saying I have 3 kids when people ask. I don't feel weird saying one is in heaven because it is not weird, it is my new life. I don't even give them a chance to give me that pitty look because I am not saying it for sympathy. So be careful when you ask a parent how many kids they have because you never know who you are asking. There are days of course that are still difficult to cope with you of course but I know that will be for the rest of my life. I will wipe the tears as I have done all these months and keep moving forward. I want to make Sami proud that her mama is a survivor and she keeps going.

I have not had a chance to really follow everyone's blogs but that doesn't mean that I don't pray for you guys and wish all the best. Thank goodness for facebook because I keep up there as best as I can. So from now until October I will be busy with making care packages and figuring out a way to remember Sami on her birthday. ((HUGS)) to everyone.