Today is a good day and I am not even sure why. I just woke up feeling good and I am not going to complain about that. I am looking forward to this weekend and we have no plans. This week I went and got a much needed hair cut. I felt really nice to cute my hair short, for some reason it made me feel relieved. Today I finally made our appointment to see the counselor next Wednesday and I am really looking forward to that. I really hope it helps my husband and I. I thought of doing group counseling but I decided I would try this first, I think this might be best right now. Maybe later I will try the other one.
Next week I go back to work, I was supposed to go back last month but I got an extra 6 weeks which I really needed. Now I feel like I might be ready. I am sad that I will have to leave Julian because my goodness, he and I are attached at the hip right now! However I think it would be good for him to go back to his normal schedule. My parents take care of him so I have nothing to worry about because he loves to be with them. I think I am going to cry more than he will that is for sure. I am not looking forward to the hour drive to and from work but I did it before and I can do it again. I am a little scared because I know there are going to be some clients who will say something stupid that will probably make me upset but I cannot stay in my little bubble forever. I need to really get back to a regular schedule. I am scared because I have not seen my co-workers in so long and I know they are going to assume that the old me will be back at work. I know they will be a little cautious with me and sensitive of course but I know they do not realize how much I have changed in these past few weeks. Part of me wishes I was going to start at a new place just because I really do not want to go back. Not that I do not like my job but I just feel like I just need to keep moving forward. I feel so lost in trying to make sense of my life this past year. I want to have and answer or know the meaning to all of this. I feel like God put this in my path for a reason and not being able to pin point it kind of frustrates me. I know with time I will know but I just wish I knew right now. For now I will just continue to count my many blessings and let God lead the way. I am wishing everyone a great weekend ahead.
On another note: please take a moment to pray for the many victims of Haiti. My heart is broken for the many victims. They have a long road ahead of them.
1 year ago