Friday, May 14, 2010

Happy Birthday Janessa Marie

Wishing Janessa Marie a Happy 1st Birthday in heaven today.

One year ago today you came and touched your mommy's life forever. Please send her a little sign to let her know that you are doing well and watching over her. Your mommy, daddy and big brother miss you so much. Janessa you have touched my life in so many ways so I want to thank you for that on your special day. Please stop by her Malory's blog today and send her some love as today is a difficult day for her.

So many life changing events happen in a blink of eye. This week I was setting up my new laptop and I put in Sami's video footage from the hospital.  I wish I had more of her but we really weren't thinking clearly that morning. I am blessed the video that I do have so I will not complain one bit about that. Julian meeting her for the first time, her movements, sounds and most of all her beauty. I feel like showing it to the world just to show that she was real, she was alive and she someone who danced on earth and not just in my belly. It seems like only days after that she was forgotten by many. I have proof that I held an angel in my arms, I can never get those moments out of my mind. She remains like a permanent fixture in my heart. I wish she would to many other's as well.
So many mother's are reaching this one year mark and it seems so unreal. Your one day further from that moment when they were in your arms yet one day closer to being reunited with them. Yet we are here stuck in the middle and that is the most difficult to understand. Living with so many shattered dreams and an ache in your heart that will NEVER go away. Life moves on for me it feels like it is a stand still most of the time, stuck in the middle trying to make my way through life. Lately I have been feeling so sad that I just want to hide from it all.
Sami, mommy misses you so much!!!

9 comments:

Franchesca said...

Happy First Birthday in Heaven, Janessa Marie

Thinking of you Lisette! XOXO

Jill said...

Happy birthday to Janessa!

Lisette, lately I have been feeling sad as well. I think the thought that a year is approaching scares me.

With Out My Punkin said...

((hugs))It does seem unreal... I so wish it was!

Antoinette said...

((((hugs)))))

happy Birthday Janeesa!

The Blue Sparrow said...

I know what you mean, I wish I had taken more pictures of Bryston too, what I do have just isnt enough but then again I suppose it never really could be. *HUGS*

elena said...

*hug*

I think its so wonderful how you think of others even though you are hurting. That is so amazing! You are such a sweet woman and I am blessed to have met you. I feel as if I know Sami through your words. I know she is looking down on you and is so proud you are her mommy! I think of you and Sami often.

love and prayers
elena

Once A Mother said...

Your one day further from that moment when they were in your arms yet one day closer to being reunited with them

such a beautiful way to put it... sending love your way and praying that the days ahead bring comfort and peace.

happy birthday, too, to sweet janessa.

Holly said...

Happy 1st birthday Janessa!!! ♥

Seems like there are too many years b/f we can see them again.

Malory said...

Lisette,

Thank you so very much for the birthday wish to Janessa. You are one of the most loving woman I have met! Sami has impacted me forever as well.

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