Wishing Janessa Marie a Happy 1st Birthday in heaven today.
One year ago today you came and touched your mommy's life forever. Please send her a little sign to let her know that you are doing well and watching over her. Your mommy, daddy and big brother miss you so much. Janessa you have touched my life in so many ways so I want to thank you for that on your special day. Please stop by her Malory's blog today and send her some love as today is a difficult day for her.
So many life changing events happen in a blink of eye. This week I was setting up my new laptop and I put in Sami's video footage from the hospital. I wish I had more of her but we really weren't thinking clearly that morning. I am blessed the video that I do have so I will not complain one bit about that. Julian meeting her for the first time, her movements, sounds and most of all her beauty. I feel like showing it to the world just to show that she was real, she was alive and she someone who danced on earth and not just in my belly. It seems like only days after that she was forgotten by many. I have proof that I held an angel in my arms, I can never get those moments out of my mind. She remains like a permanent fixture in my heart. I wish she would to many other's as well.
So many mother's are reaching this one year mark and it seems so unreal. Your one day further from that moment when they were in your arms yet one day closer to being reunited with them. Yet we are here stuck in the middle and that is the most difficult to understand. Living with so many shattered dreams and an ache in your heart that will NEVER go away. Life moves on for me it feels like it is a stand still most of the time, stuck in the middle trying to make my way through life. Lately I have been feeling so sad that I just want to hide from it all.
Sami, mommy misses you so much!!!