I have been so consumed with my feelings that I feel like I have somewhat pushed my honey aside and I feel really bad about it. He has been working such long hours at work that we hardly see each other and when we finally do get to see each other it's all about me! How I am feeling, how tired I am, how sad I am and so on, what about him? I know his heart aches just like mine does, I know he feels sad and angry and yet he still finds a way to hide that so that I can feel better, so I don't start to cry. I know when he sees me fall apart his heart breaks because he feels like he is the only one who can make me feel better. He always has to be the strong one in order to hold us together these days.
I was wondering last night how he really feels at times because people tend to always ask him only about me, "how is your wife doing, how is she holding up." I guess we all just assume that he is a guy so his feelings aren't spoken of as often as a my feelings are and that is not fair! I know everyone cares for him just as much and his feelings are just as important but I think it's just a general thing to do. He has been so supportive and he always has a way of making me feel better. I need to know that he is getting that support back. It starts with me because I know exactly what he feels when it comes to constantly being worried. Not only does he worry about Sami's well being but mine as well. I don't want him to feel like he is alone in all of this because Lord knows he isn't. He is a wonderful person and I thank the Lord above everyday for bringing him into my life. If I didn't have his unconditional love and support, I wouldn't be holding up as well as I am today.
By the way, we are excited because on Friday are going to go get a 3D ultrasound. Maybe we will be able to see her little face since she always tends to hide it. Then on Tuesday back to the Parenatologist... I don't look forward to those visits because I never walk out of there feeling good. Luckily, my honey has the day off so he will be able to be there with me for that. Going alone to those visits really sucks! I will keep everyone posted with how things are going with Sami.
If I don't say it often.. THANK YOU everyone for being so supportive! God bless...
1 year ago