Feeling a whole lot better

Well it's almost the weekend and I am quite excited. I am finally going to have a girls night with my friend's. My honey and Julian are going to have a fun Saturday too since they are going to go watch the PBR. I hope Julian stays put, lol. I am sure he will do just fine, he loves to watch bull riding.

I am still a little angry but I have decided that there is no point to that. It's a feeling I rarely have and I hate it so it's time to just get over it. It does no good to me. I figure if people want me in their lives then they will and if not oh well nothing I can do about it. I am sticking to my last post this time.

So now to real stuff that just makes me so darn proud of myself. I have taken 100 steps forward!!! I actually walked into a Babies R Us without wanting to burst into tears and I even helped one of my dearest friend's register for her baby girl!!! It was something that I needed to do for myself and boy am I glad I did because I feel like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I am so glad that I did that. Then another giant step was I actually attended my first 1st birthday party for another friend's son. I remember us being pregnant together last summer. I attended her baby shower and was so jealous, how I love that feeling being gone. I am truly happy for both of my friend's as they both embrace being a mommy as it should be. Lately it seems like everyone is pregnant around me and in this blog world and it really makes me smile. It gives me hope that I didn't have before. I am scared for everyone because I know how quickly things can change but I am really hopeful that they will get to start a new chapter in their lives filled with diapers to change, bottles to feed and kisses to give. So to all mom's expecting their rainbows---CONGRATULATIONS once again.  I often wonder how I am going to react to being pregnant again. Am I going to be scared to enjoy it for the fear that it can end so quickly or will be a peace and actually be able to enjoy it? There is no way that I can go into it like before.  Again, I miss being naive at times. Who knows what is in store for our little family but for now I am just going to take it as it comes.

Lately I have noticed that I don't cry as often and although that makes me sad it also gives me some comfort. I know in my heart that Sami is in a better place and one day I will be with her again. Oh I read the book 6 Big, Big Angels by Mary Jo Pennington and wow is all I have to say. I recommend it to everyone. It was suggested to me by Belle at Beauty from ashes, THANK YOU so much.  It gives a glimpse as to what heaven is really like. So this week is ending on a much better note, I hope it continues that way.