Wednesday, August 12, 2009


I have noticed that something is changing, not for the best either and that something is me!!! I am not sure what it is or why but I am becoming another person and I don't like it. I am starting to notice that I just don't care... I don't like that, I am normally not that person, I am very caring person. I think most people would say it's natural but to me it sure doesn't feel like it is. That is just not who I am!

I feel like lately I am just always angry and I don't even know why. Anything can set me off, I mean anything. I wish some people would just stay away and then others I want them to be closer. Everything is just a darn struggle these days. Having relationships with people is hard. I feel like I want to be alone but I know that is not a good thing because I know people care and are really worried about us. I know later on I am going to need everyone more than ever but right now I am just so torn. It's almost like I want people to just let me be but at the same time I don't want to be left alone. It is so weird and hard to explain. I hate not being able to control all these feelings. I am going to try to work on these emotions before I end up hurting someone by saying something I probably shouldn't. I will just leave it at that for now.

On a way more positive note... We are having a mass for little Sami at our church on September 7th. I think I definately need some positive energy... I hope by then I can be more like myself. Anyhow for the people that can make it will be at 10 am.

St. Denis Catholic Church
2151 S Diamond Bar Bl
Diamond Bar, CA 92557

Thank you to all for being so understanding to my ever so changing moods.


Holly said...

I hope that everyone will be understanding of your mood changes because they are certainly normal. I understand not liking the change. I know I just wanna be me. You've got a lot of emotions and a difficult situation surrounding you. There will be up days and down days. I pray that you will have more up than down. I know what you mean about wanting to be alone but yet not wanting to be. It makes sense to me. I pray that no matter what people will be there to support you because that is so important. I hope that Sami's mass goes well!!

Hope's Blog said...

I totally understand how you are feeling and know that it is hard to deal with all of this every day. The changes you are feeling are least that's what everyone tells me all the time. I know it doesn't make it easier, but know that there are a lot of us out there that are praying for you and Sami every day. Take care of yourself and know that your friends will be here to help you whenever you need them.



Laura said...

The rollercoaster of emotions can be so crazy! You are wise to just get it all out and let yourself be sad, mad and everything in between. This is such a painful journey, but you are not alone.

I think of you often.

Laura said...

Hi Lisette. I went through all of these same feelings... and in a lot of ways, I still am. The only person (aside from my first DD) that I want around me is my husband and unfortunately, he's gone in training. All I can say is go with the moment and do what you feel in your heart. Praying for peace for you and your family.

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