Today is one of those days where I feel like I am the only one hurting. Everyone else gets to make the best of their Sunday and here I am writing down how terribly sad I am. Today I just feel so alone and I am not sure why. I was actually having a good weekend.
Sami is moving around a lot, reminding me of her love but I can't stop thinking of the future. I want to live in the moment but something always reminds me of what lies ahead of us. I wish the tears could just stop, everyday it is the same thing. I just feel so drained and tired at this point. I look in the mirror and I don't see myself anymore. I see this tired, sad little person looking back at me. I don't want to be that person anymore.
I know with time it will be different but right now I just feel like maybe I have taken on way more than I can handle. I have to somehow find the inner strength that got me to this point already. I know it is there, I just have to really dig deep within myself to get it back. So for starters maybe I should stop writing and get ready to go out somewhere with my family. It is not fair that I ruin their day because of my sad mood. Julian needs his mommy right now and I have to put my personal feelings aside for him. He is still so little and he doesn't understand what is going on.
1 year ago