Our beautiful mass

The mass for Sami was yesterday, it was so beautiful!!! I was trying to hard to not burst out in tears throughout the whole mass because I really wanted to hear what Fr.Dennis had to say to us. I had my moments, trust me! I know that our family and friends are here to support us but to actually see them all together was just an amazing thing. To know that every single person (and were a lot) was there to show in some way their love to our family was truly amazing.
Fr. Dennis shared our story and explained to everyone the many challenges that we are faced with. He shared my feelings about the situation and how I want Sami's life to be seen as a blessing, I want people to smile as they think of her and not be saddened. Once he was done he asked everyone to come and give us hugs and express their feelings, I wasn't expecting that but I am so glad he did that. That was overwhelming and impossible to hold back the tears. I had family there that I didn't even know they knew what was going with us! I took a moment to look behind me and was completely taken back, I can't describe it in words. It was so beautiful to know that we are loved and cared for so much, Sami brought all of us together. She is such a reminder of what it means to love.

After mass we went to my brother's house to have lunch. It was a happy occasion and that is exactly what I hoped for. I won't lie and say that at some point I didn't feel sad, The only reason for that was because I reminded myself that in a few weeks it will be so different. Different because there is still that huge possibility that I will not get to bring my Lauren Samantha home. So many people love her and I want her to see and feel that for herself. I want to be able to share her with everyone. For the most part it was a wonderful day, our angel shower was beautiful and by far exceeded my expectations of it.

My niece Cassandra had mailed out a letter to everyone and asked them to bring a letter with them for us. That was a wonderful surprise to us, we had no idea about that. When we got home and read them... WOW is all I can say!!! It was such a thoughtful and touching gift. I had a hard time getting through some of the notes because I could not stop crying. I know it is hard for people to really express their feelings but writing them out comes easier. To know how they really feel was the best gift they could have ever given me. To know how much Sami is loved is more than I can ask for.

I really want to thank everyone again for the unconditional love and support that has been shared with us over the last few months and especially these last few weeks. To me saying thank you doesn't seem like enough but I have yet to find a bigger word.