Thursday, September 16, 2010

Angel wings

I know I have posted before about Sami's angel wings. Well with her urn there were wings attached to it. When we seen them we just knew that on the day of her service she had to be wearing them. They fit her perfectly, we were so excited. My niece Victoria couldn't believe she really had wings that day, I love the mind of innocent children. My sister told her she was an angel so seeing Sami with wings she was taken back. Makes me smile thinking of that because I know she will always remember her cousin as an angel. A few days later when we had to go pick up her ashes (I hate the way that sounds) they gave me her blanket and rosary but no angel wings. She was creamated with them, she is such a girl and didn't want to wait in line I suppose. Why wait for wings when you already have them right?  I don't know why it took me so long order them again but I did. Today they came in the mail, it made me happy but so emotional at the same time. It doesn't seem right that I have to go through stuff like this. I should be buying her clothes and bows not angel wings to put on her bear. Some days I feel like I am coping as best as I could then out of nowhere I get stopped right in my tracks. My life is different, I accept it even though I would much rather have another life. I life that doesn't involve so much pain in my heart, a life that was supposed be---complete.

These past few months I haven't really felt this pain so intensly as tonight. The pain is always there but it wasn't something that I couldn't handle. I can't really explain it but I am sure many of you can relate. I keep reliving the moments that most people NEVER have to think about such as dressing your dead child, calling the morturary to pick her because her skin was changing color. Those are moments that I will never forget no matter how much time passes. October is so near, it's really starting to hit me.

9 comments:

Sarita Boyette said...

The urn with wings is beautiful! I think it is very appropriate that Sami was cremated with her wings - she must have looked beautiful in them! Remembering her with you....

croleyc69 said...

Very beautiful. I like it and it was neat she was cremated with her wings. I have been thinking of you a lot lately too and your precious Sami !!

Caroline

Jill said...

The wings are so perfect. I can absolutely relate to your feelings and emotions that you are having. There are MANY moments that I will never forget. XO

Lea said...

Lisette ~ thos moments are so incredibly heartbreaking. I remember all too well. The wings are beautiful.

Michelle said...

I just love the fact that you put angel wings on Sami. You couldn't have done a more perfect thing. The bear is beautiful and the wing complete it. These emotions sneak up on us and really are horrible! I wish I could take some of that pain for you. Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers my sweet friend.

Jessica said...

Beautiful wings :) Thinking of you - hope you are doing well...

Holly said...

I love her wings and that you were able to get another set for her bear.

Lori said...

This just pulled at my heart...sending you lots of love and prayers for your heart and its hurt....xoxo

elena said...

Aww, these are so sweet :) *hugs*

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