Saturday, October 17, 2009

Oh what a week

Wow, what a week I had!!! First Monday I was completely at my breaking point. I had not slept; I was the worst pain ever. I called my OB doctor in the morning and he told me to go to straight to the hospital which we did. There... I was having mild contractions, I was not dilating (which is good), my breathing was little off but it was not bad. The nurse in triage was super nice and she was trying to help me as much as possible because she knew how uncomfortable I was. Once my doctor seen me he called the Parenatologists to come drain some of the fluid because it was way too much for me to handle. When he finally came back to tell me they were going to drain some fluid, I just sat there and cried, FINALLY!!!!! That took a while because the doctors were going at it but it worked out for me. I was moved to new room and finally I was closer to feeling better. I was annoyed because the parenatologists took forever and when she got there she asked why I had not come in sooner... did I not just see her on Friday? I had gotten there at 11 am, I had not really eaten and by the time she got there it was already 6pm!! I was not in the best of moods by this point. Finally after while she was able to figure out how to use the new kit provided for her for a Thoracentesis as she called it, it took a very long hour and half to drain out 4 litters of fluid from me. It was painful however I instantly started to feel better. I wish I would have ate something and probably had more fluids but the point was that finally my belly had some room and I hopefully going to be able to get some sleep!!
Well the following two days were a bit challenging but thank God for my mom who was making sure I was resting and not having to run around after Julian. I was getting contractions, I was not able to control my body temperature which was really odd but it was not high enough to go back to the hospital. I was feeling better in a sense but at the same time not so much it was really weird for me. Then since my honey had taken the days off to be with me we decided we had to go the mortuary to finalize things. My brother had gone but they said they could not do anything until we, the parents went to sign. Why I decided to go this week is beyond me but I am glad that is over. Now I am torn between having to bury her or cremate her, I seen a casket and it absolutely freaked me out and almost gave me a panic attack so I really to need re think things. That is a whole other issue.

Now Thursday, I am getting home sick because there is nothing like being at home but at the same time, still not feeling well and feeling a little depressed I knew it was best to stay with my mom. Finally Friday.... I am feeling better but now I have a cold and I am itchy all over. I am still having trouble sleeping but I am feeling better which is good. Emotionally I am drained... this week has been so long. I have come to realize that these next few weeks are only going to get harder. Now that I can move better and get around easier I am starting to notice Sami moving so much more which makes me feel so much better. I cannot help touching my belly all the time.

Friday morning, I went to the doctor and all is well, thank goodness. My friend stopped to visit at my mom’s and the company was very much well received. A few hours to talk and just be normal was nice for a change. Being home feels so good and I came home to find that one of my brothers sent me flowers so that was really nice. My house smells fresh and I like it.

I have decided that from this point on I am going to concentrate on Julian's birthday party since that is coming up in a few weeks. No matter what happens in the next few weeks, my little guy will have his birthday party. It may not be big but he will have some memories of his second birthday. Now it is Sunday and I actually feel well rested for once, I actually got a good night’s sleep which my body desperately needed. I am still itchy like crazy especially my hands and feet however I am trying everything in my power to take control of that. It has to go away because I am not going to let that be the one factor that does not let me rest. So for today’s agenda…. Going to take Julian to the pumpkin patch. Thank you everyone for being to nice and understanding this week.


Once A Mother said...

I am so sorry that you are in the position of having to decide on cremation versus burial... it is so unfair that any of us face these decisions. Sending you prayers for strength.

Holly said...

I am so glad that they finally drained some of that fluid already!!! What a major relief!! How awesome that you can feel Sami kicking more. :)

I know it's so hard to decide things you really don't want to. One of the harder decisions is deciding between burial or cremation. Just email me if you ever need to talk about any of that.

I think it's good to focus on something positive like Julian's bday party. What a fun and happy event.

Hope's Blog said...

I am so glad they finally got rid of some of that fluid and I am especially happy that you are a little more comfortable.

Planning services for your baby is something no parent should ever be expected to do. It is the hardest and most unfair thing ever. We did not get to that point before I was put in the hospital for low fluid, but we were supposed to go that weekend.

You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. I know the next few weeks will be hard emotionally, but I am here for you if you need anything.

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