Friday, March 19, 2010

And so it begins...

Last year on this day I was getting ready to go camping. My husband and I were running errands all day. Around lunch time it just hit me "I am pregnant!" I told him and he looked at me like I was crazy. I am not sure why since we had been trying. In between our errands I made him stop at the store to buy a test. We still continued about our day, I was tired, hungry and a little scared. We had been planning for another baby but I did not think it would happen that quickly. Julian was still so small and if I was right on my calculations he would be sharing his 2nd birthday. I think I was just feeling like maybe I wasn't ready to handle to little one's after all. Thinking about it now, I wish those thoughts never crossed my mind. It makes me feel a little guilty to think that I was scared to have Sami in my life.

After a long day out we finally got home and started packing up our trailer to get ready to leave. While my husband was outside I decided to take the test, I didn't want to wait until the morning (they say it's best to that test in the morning). I did it and there it was two very faint pink lines!!! My body had the natural signs of pregnancy yet at that moment my head didn't want to believe it. Seriously prior to that day I did not even think about being pregnant and all. Then all of sudden I wake up feeling very pregnant. I think Sami wanted to give me the heads up before we left camping in case I decided to drink a whole lot! So I went to go show my hubby... I walked into our garage and showed him my little test. He instantly hugged me, I then started to cry a bit (that is when I got emotional). He looked at it and said wait "you are not pregnant both lines have to be pink!" The part of me that wanted to be pregnant knew he was wrong but the scared part of me wanted to believe that I was not pregnant. It was weird.. then I got even more emotional because I had shared the news with my honey without doing anything cute like I did when I told him I was pregnant with Julian. He just hugged me and laughed and he said "oh gosh maybe you are pregnant because you are already crying over silly things."

Well camping wasn't fun, I was so sick and seriously felt like crap. At that point I just knew it. I did not need to take another test, morning sickness was in full swing (I do not miss that part once bit). For my own piece of mind that Sunday morning I took the other test and there it was two very dark pink lines... I was officially pregnant, the lines were no longer faint. I woke him up my little test again and he then he got emotional. That was a cute moment that I will not forget because he was half asleep. We were trying to get everything ready to leave but I just couldn't get out of bed. My niece Cassandra was very honest and told me "you look like shit" I felt it she didn't need to tell me but I love her for her honesty. That was another funny moment, she asked me if I was pregnant and I told her "no way," I was lying but I didn't want to say anything until I went to go see the doctor. My husband on the other hand went and told his best friend Richard while they were having breakfast. He said he couldn't wait to share the news. Since he told his friend, I had to call someone so on my way to work the next morning I remember calling Marie to share my news. She was so excited for us. I made my appointment to see the doctor later that week. I was already 10 weeks along!!! I had an ultrasound and there she was this tiny, tiny active little being. She was already moving like crazy. At that point I was so excited and I could not wait to share my news with everyone. I officially told my family on Easter Sunday. I was sad because my honey was out of town and was not there to share the joy with me. That day after church I changed Julian into a t-shirt with two little monkey's on it and it said "I am not monkeying around, I am going to be a big brother." It took a while for some of my family to get it but once they did they were like I knew it!!! How I miss the happy moments of my pregnancy.

And so it begins with my "this time last year..." I cannot believe how much my life has changed it just one year. So many highs and lows, so much happiness and sadness.
Today ends winter and springs begins (more like summer in CA) and I want to believe that with the new season approaching good things will come.

5 comments:

April said...

I just feel like our paths we are walking are so similiar. I am coming to the same place where I will be remembering all the little things of my pregnancy starting with the anniversary of my 1st positive pregnancy test on March 23rd.

I remember feeling like maybe I wasn't ready for another baby too, especially when I found out it was twins. Now I feel so guilty about it because I sit here with both of my twins in Heaven.

I hope the new season does bring good things your way!

Jill said...

This time of year is when we found out we were pregnant also. I remember all the special things about it and treasure them. I LOVE the shirt you got for Julian to tell your family. What a great idea! Thinking of you and sweet Sami.

Franchesca Cox said...

Oh wow, I know that being a year out from learning about little Sami must be so hard. Such a sweet story. I love how you shared the news of Sami with your family. Thinking of you XO

Christy said...

I just wanted to say that your sweet Sami is absolutely beautiful.
It is so hard to look back on those "last year at this time....". It's all so hard.
Hugs to you!

Holly said...

It's crazy to think "this time last year"....

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