This Thanksgiving it is going to be different. Second one I spend without Sami and now the first without Marie. It is starting to really hit how things are going to be so different during these holidays. Last year was seriously a blur to me. Marie always came with her ham and some other side dish and of course pies and always looked so pretty. She always had the girls dressed in their best. Why didn't I take more pictures of her? I miss her smile, her laugh and most of all just talking to her. Last year I remember sitting there with her on the verge of tears, she grabbed my hand and just made me feel better. She always did that and I miss that so much. I don't always talk to people about how much I seriously miss her because it just makes me want to fall apart and I hate crying in front of people.
When your heart aches it is so hard to look beyond that and see how blessed we really are. This thanksgiving I have many things to be thankful for even though my heart is grieving. A husband and son who love me without doubt and this little rainbow that is starting to let me know she is really here (loving her movements). My family who has shown me so much support and have really come together through our losses. Friends who have not let me fall and stand beside me all the time. It may be small but I have a place I can call home. A job that has been so good to me and has given me all the time I need. Last but not least everyone I have met through this blog who has helped me so much, all your kind words and gestures have really made me feel like I can and will get through this.
We are going away camping for the weekend and will not be checking in here so I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. For some of you it is the first big holiday without your precious baby, know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing all of you peace and joy, God bless!
1 year ago