Thursday, July 16, 2009

I hate my doctor!!!

Yesterday was a bad day... I was so mad that I was not even able to concentrate on writing in this blog.
So I went in for my regular Dr. appointment, I walk in they check my blood pressure and the baby's heart, nothing big. Anyhow, I had asked my doctor if he had ever delivered a baby with anencephaly and he said yes, which made me feel better. So then I asked him if I should just have a c-section and then he asked me "why are you asking me this, do you know someone who is going to deliver a baby with that?" WHAT????? I was like have you NOT read my chart? I have been going to this doctor since the beginning. He looked over it and said they have written down as encephalocele not anencephaly.... It's a nueral tube defect, I know that but what got me mad was that he asked me why I had not terminated yet???? Really? He was like "your baby is going to die as soon as it's born." I told him to you "it's" just an object but to me she is my baby!!! He was telling me her brain is on the outside like if I didn't know that already. He was like as soon as we cut the cord she is going to die because she is only surviving because you are giving her life right now. Last time I remembered he is NOT God!! He kept looking over the chart and he told me "well they recommended that you terminate" well obviously at this point that is not an option. I told him I decided to go full term and if he had a problem with that to let me know because I will have to go elsewhere.
I understand from a medical perspective that to them it may be pointless to go full term because of all the complications that can arise from this but regardless they get paid at the end of the day so whether I go all the way should not give them the right to be so judgemental and cold. I was so offended by his words!!!!
I think what set me off was the fact that he walked into the room where I was at not even knowing anything about me or my pregnancy. I would think that before a doctor walks into a patient room they look over the chart to see what they are dealing with or at least just to know who is the darn room! In my chart the reports from the specialist were all there, no excuse for him to not know what was going on with my pregnancy!
So after I made it known that I was VERY upset, I walked out, I was crying of anger. He didn't care, he didn't say one word to me.

So walking out of there I called the parenatal center and spoke with the case manager to see how I can change my Dr. (good advice from my sister in-law Marie). Thank God they were so nice and helpful. Sheryl from Family Birth Services called me back within one hour to tell me that 3 of the 5 doctors said they would NOT take me on as a patient, only because they are afraid of lawsuits and that is totally understandable. In between that time my friend Angie gave me the name of her sister's doctor who took her in a patient half way through pregnancy and her baby Liza had the same thing. When Sheryl called back I gave her that doctor's name and she said she was actually waiting for his call back. He was one of the doctors she called, I was happy to hear that. She suggested that I call that office as well. I did call and the manager was really nice, she said she would call me once the doctor came in. So I waited... I got a call back and I am now a new patient to Dr. Wong.

So today I went to go sign the release form to have medical records transferred over to that office and to get to know him. What a relief.... He was much nicer. He walked into the room knowing exactly what was wrong with Sami and HE NEVER QUESTIONED MY DECISION!!!! He said she was measuring a little big but all looked well. I will go back to see him in 2 weeks. One funny thing is that his office is literally right next door to the other doctor!!! Small world...

I have read so many blogs about medical staff being so cold to mothers in this situation and I never thought I would be one of them!!! It is a really ugly feeling. My gosh my little one is not even born yet and already there are judgements against her because she is not physically "perfect" well I will say it over and over to me she is absolute perfection!


April said...

I have read your blog and while our little ones have different medical problems, I can really relate to you. I too was very mad at God, I also took my vitamins like I should and really wanted this pregnancy. I just didn't understand why this was happening to me. Then I turned to God and am much more optimistic. Keep your faith and know that Sami is in your life for a reason and maybe someday you will be able to understand why. Goodluck for the rest of your pregnancy. I will keep you in my prayers. Remember, miracles do happen!

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