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Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Feeling guilty about not posting

How did I let this happen again? I said I was not going to go so long without writing but well it is obvious that did not happen. I have gone so long and so much has happened.
First I want to start off by saying that although I do not need this blog as much as I did before does not mean that I no longer needed it completely. Now that I am a stay home mom I really just do not have the time like I did before. From sun up until sundown I am just constantly on the go and when I finally do have a chance to rest I am exhausted. I feel guilty because I should make more of an effort. Not a single moment has passed that I do not think of the reason behind this blog and that of course is my precious Sami.

I am happy to announce another rainbow baby is going to join our family soon. I am expecting another son on May 28th. This pregnancy has been really enjoyable. I have allowed myself the chance to really enjoy it unlike Emma's. I was so terrified with her pregnancy and I feel like I missed out on so much. This time around it is different, perhaps because I know this is my last time being pregnant ever. We have decided this is it, our family is complete. We are happy and content with our decision.

Sami is already four and half and I am starting to think of ways to celebrate her fifth birthday. It is a big milestone so I feel like I really need to do something big. I have a few things in mind but nothing for sure. For her last birthday we kept it low key and sent her some balloons. It is still weird that we have to celebrate her birthday that way but it is was it is and I accept and make the best of it. It is not easy by any means but I can handle it so much better. Those raw emotions are not so intense anymore although I still have my moments where something triggers me and it will knock me on my butt in second. Moments like the other day when Emma was acting out scenes from the movie Frozen and she asked me where her sister Sami was. That stung like crazy but all I can do is try my best to explain this to her and make her understand our situation is unique. Julian still talks about her so freely and so openly that I pray it never changes. For school recently her took her Molly bear to share with his class. I love that about him so much and it makes me so proud of him. He is never worried about strange looks or comments from anyone. I admire him so much for that and he continues to teach me new things everyday. I still feel weird when people ask me the dreaded question "how many kids do you have?" I always have to answer honestly especially when I am around Julian because he will correct me in a second.

Before I go for now here is a little update on our family.
Julian is already six and almost done with kindergarten. He is excelling in school especially in reading. There is nothing that kid cannot read, it's amazing. He is also doing so well in baseball, he LOVES it.
Emma is almost three and is finally fully potty trained. She is always singing and dancing around. She talks all day long and is my little sidekick. She is funny, feisty and so loveable. Her hugs and kisses just melt my heart and everyone around her. Julian loves her and protects her like crazy I pray she will be the same way with her new baby brother.
My husband is still my knight and shinning armor, each day he does something to just make me feel so loved and I can't ask for more. He is such a hard worker and takes such good care of us even when we get on each other's nerves.
Easter 2014